Friday, August 12, 2011

Guest Post Lucky Number 13 - Jason McKinney

HOLY SHIT! Let me tell you, faithful friends and readers, if I was capable of apologizing I would certainly do that right now. It’s been two fucking weeks since my last blog post. Alas, summer has been keeping Horrorwritingdaddy very busy. There was a lawnmower to rebuild, a garden to weed and water and till and harvest, as well as a hundred neighbors and friends who all waited until the very same fucking day to ask for help with a dozen different projects. I’ve rewired houses and fixed so many cars I could build a spare with the tired old parts I replaced. Add to that my own writing which is now boasting 21 books up for sale on KINDLE NOOK and SMASHWORDS. So yeah, I’ve been pretty fucking busy. I still managed to take my kids fishing, head down to the beach a few times, and hit a couple carnivals.
But that’s ok. I have a plan. I know your disappointed, pissed, and upset by my unusual lack of productivity. So I do the Mia Culpa dance and make a worthy offering for your favor once again.

For my newest and most long overdue guest post I bring you the Immense Talent of the very successful Jason McKinney. He is a published author of books on Zombies, and Werewolves, he is an accomplished comic book geek, and one hell of a guy. So enough of my palaver. Lets get this fucking bus rolling right off the highway and into the cliffs where the shadows are darker than the drivers soul and the monsters that skitter and claw over the rocks only want to hear you scream.

Horrorwritingdaddy is PROUD to present guest post # 13

Scarlett’s Undead Web
By Jason McKinney

Scarlett was a spider of no great importance that lived on an average farm in Kansas. The farm was one of many in central Kansas and like every other farm it had wheat fields and pigs, lots of pigs.
Though Scarlett hated pigs she loved the farm. However, thanks to the pigs’ slovenly nature there was always some delicious fly morsel trapped within her web. When this happened, without fail, Scarlett would skitter down her silk home to feast on the wayward fly, savoring its utter stupidity.
Flies were beneath her so she seldom ever felt sorry for them. Her pity when feeding was usually saved for the occasional butterfly that accidentally entangled itself with the silvery strands.
Scarlett rarely ate the butterflies. She would usually free them, but every so often she would eat one if she hadn’t had a bite in hours. Scarlett was a tenderhearted spider when it came to insects other than flies and grasshoppers, which were her second favorite meal.
It was a sunny day on the farm when Scarlett became fortunate enough for a grasshopper and a fly to become stuck one after another in her web. “Well, well, well,” she said, moving swiftly to where the two fought to get free. “My lucky day indeed!’
As Scarlett neared the two awaiting meals, she heard violent hissing coming from the fly. Hissing was near unheard of for flies. Normally they would cry, “Help me. Please, help me,” as she descended on them but this fly only emitted angry, grotesque snarling.
For the first time ever Scarlett paused before approaching the twisting food, watching, and listening to the fly flap its wings and growl viciously as it tried to get to the grasshopper.
Warily she eyed the fly. Its normally reflective eyes were dark red and pink and white froth flowed from its mouth. Never had Scarlett beheld behavior so violent in a fly. Her heart went out to the grasshopper and for the first time ever she found herself moving to release the insect.
“Oh shit,” moaned the grasshopper as she reached it. “Better you than him,” it said, turning to look at the fly.
“Oh shut up and lie still,” retorted Scarlett. She moved carefully along, freeing the grasshopper, taking care not to get too close to the fly.
All the while, as she devoured her webbing in order to set the grasshopper free, the fly became more enraged, spitting and twisting itself further into its prison.
“And you shut up as well,” she said, giving a sharp snap at it with her jaws. She pulled back quickly, shocked as the spider tried to attack her in return. The pinkish white froth was becoming redder, causing Scarlett to wonder, if anything, what she should do about the fly.
“Pissed off little shit eater,” the grasshopper said, rubbing its legs together to remove the rest of the webbing. The grasshopper looked at Scarlett, unsure of what was going to happen next and said, “Thanks, lady. My name’s Jerry and I appreciate you not eating me.”
“Would have been rude considering your predicament. Now,” Scarlett said, rubbing the tips of her front legs together. She paused to clear her throat then said, “I believe you should move along and never return to this area again. Next time, I might not be so accommodating.”
“Got that shit right,” said Jerry the Vulgar Grasshopper. “Thanks again, toots,” he chirped, hopping away.
            “What a coarse little bug,” she said, turning to regard the trapped fly.
Halfway through her turn a sharp pain ripped through one of her left legs. Angrily she looked down to discover the fly had rolled its web-covered carcass closer to her. Scarlett was shocked to see that it had spit its digestive fluids onto her leg, causing it to burn and boil as angrily as she felt.
“Rat loving vermin,” she hissed and without further thought or consideration she lunged at the fly, biting deep and drinking its life fluids.
The fly twisted and writhed beneath her as she fed. Its fluids tasted hot, almost burning her throat. She’d never experienced anything like it. It was close to painful, but she couldn’t pull away. The longer she sucked the life from it, the more addicted to it she became. It was both horrible and exhilarating at the same time.
Finally she finished and her head swirled with the taste of her meal. “Dear God,” she gasped. “That was frightful but filling.”
She shakily moved to the top of her web. Her head throbbed, her body shook and her mind was disoriented. “What was wrong with him,” she muttered, settling into her silken perch. “Shouldn’t have eaten him.” She stared at her ruined leg, which had now become useless. “Vermin filth.”
The sun began to set, but Scarlett couldn’t bring herself to spin a new web. “I’ll just lay here a while,” she groaned. Her voice didn’t sound like her own. It sounded raspy, more like a growl than the soft sweet tone she had come to appreciate. “I hope I didn’t catch what that ass juice slurping dipshit had.” Her words sounded like someone else’s, too though she knew they had come from her. Then, without warning, Scarlett fell asleep.
She awoke later that night, feeling stiff and ravenous. Aside from the moment of her birth, she had never felt so hungry. The time to feed was upon her and she was compelled to satiate it.
Scarlett opened her mouth to speak but what came out was a metal on metal sounding scream followed by yellowish pink foam bubbling from her mouth. “Good heavens,” she tried to say but only more shrieking poured forth. The hunger, oh how painful it was, began to crowd her every thought.
In the murky night below her web she heard crickets’ chirping. The sound made pain shoot through her abdomen. She descended to the ground faster than she ever had before and was rewarded with the discovery of a trio of crickets.
Leaping onto one she tore its thorax, leaving it twitching and moved onto the next one. The third was able to make it away but not to safety. Scarlett overtook it, cocooning it for later.
Returning to the first two she was outraged to see that they had scampered off. Scarlett let out another wail, this one filled with rage more than hunger. For her, the third would serve as food for the moment instead of later.
Scarlett wound her way back up to her web, dragging the terrified cricket behind her. She looked around, now unsatisfied with the web’s location before feasting.
The cricket wasn’t filling at all. In fact, she felt she needed more than any insect could offer. Not to say she would say no if an insect crossed her path, but she knew that no matter what type of insect crossed her path it wouldn’t be enough. No. Scarlett had developed different tastes.
She scurried from her web, moving as stealthily as she could when she became aware of the silence. The crickets had stopped their music and there were no other insect noises either.
She was most of the way across the dirt-covered farmyard when she began to here the screams. They were few at first but grew in number rapidly.
In the nighttime gloom she saw crickets, rollie pollies and grasshoppers running to and fro in terror. In the panicked insects midst were numerous crickets, most missing body parts, chasing and overtaking the living insects to feast on them.
“Run!” called out a grasshopper, hopping toward Scarlett. It was Jerry and his face was even more frightened than it had been earlier. “Lady, you did me a solid so…” he stopped short of Scarlett but not short enough to save him. Scarlett ate Jerry in record time but still the hunger churned within her.
Scarlett walked through the chaos, taking a nibble here and there as she neared the pigpen. She had a craving for pork and nothing else would do.
She spun her web, keeping an eye on the pigs as they watched the annihilation of the farms insect races.
One pig kept turning his head toward her though as she worked in famished feverishness. He would turn his head to look at her then look back at the mayhem. He did this many times before he collected the courage to approach her, and when he did there was no fear in his eyes.
“What are you doing,” the young pig asked, sitting on the ground.
“Building a home for myself. A spider needs a place to stay… and to eat.” Scarlett eyed him ravenously as he shuffled around for a better look at her web.
“My name is Wilhelm and your nest is really cool.” Wilhelm said, advancing to the edge of the web just out of Scarlett’s reach.
“Why thank you,” hissed Scarlett. “Why don’t you get a closer look?”
“Okay. Thank you.” Wilhelm said, walking closer. In the background the screams of the dead and dying insects faded as their undead counterparts consumed them. “It’s very cool,” he added excitedly.
“Welcome to my parlor,’ said the undead spider to the pig. Scarlett launched herself off her web, spraying web into Wilhelm’s eyes. He screamed in pain as the acidic fluid blinded him. He tried to flee, but Scarlett was on him, biting his back.
As the sun came up the next morning the farmer awoke to eerie silence. No rooster crowed, no horses neighed and no crows called out.
The farmer gathered himself together and went out to investigate. The air was still and no bug or bird stirred.
From the pigpen he heard nervous shuffling and weak fearful grunts. What he found terrified him beyond belief.
The pigs were gathered at the end, encircled by hissing bugs of all kinds. Grasshoppers, wood spiders, crickets, beetles, wasps with broken wings, flies and many others insects screamed furiously at the pigs and in the corner lay Wilhelm’s mangled partially devoured body. Above the pig’s body was a bloated spider that had spun a twisted web with the message, “Delicious Pig”.
The farmer froze where he stood, maybe it was because he didn’t know what move, if any, to make or maybe because he was aware of what was about to happen. The pig, even though it had been eaten alive and was obviously dead, twitched and moaned softly. “Huunnngryyy,” Wilhelm said, weakly.
Even though he wanted to, the farmer couldn’t run. Around him was a mass of insects larger than he had ever seen and to his ears, he swore that he heard them chirping, chanting the word meat.

Jason McKinney is a writer, storyteller and comic book collector. He lives in Madison, TN and is a busy husband and father of three. When he’s not writing or drowning in that week’s comic book releases, he can be found mowing the lawn or slaving away in the kitchen for his family. He has written a not so average zombie book titled Memoirs of the Walking Dead: A story from the zombies point of view, a werewolf apocalypse book titled Dog World and a series of juvenile fiction books titled Sheriff Teddy.
If you wish to find out more about Jason you can visit his blog at You can also follow him on Twitter @jason_mckinney


  1. This story disturbed me in so many's fantastic! Just when I think that I'm finally inured to zombie stories, you recreate it to scare the peas outta me. Wonderful writing, Jason!

  2. Thank you, Amy and thank you, Chris. You are the sweetest, Empress the world could ever have! It seemed like a good idea at the time. If people can do a mashup with Jane Austen and the like then I can do a Charlotte's Web parody.