Sunday, August 25, 2013
Interview Special: Diana from Paranormal Reality
I wanted to take a few minutes to sit down in my office and ask one of my all time favorite characters a few questions. Not only is she a gorgeous redhead, but she is an all around amazing woman. She battled one nasty bastard in my book and…well, I guess you’ll just have to read the book to find out how she did.
So I invited her over to my house bright and early Sunday morning so I could ask her some questions about what her life is like and what she thinks about the book she starred in. I could tell you all kinds of things about her, but why not let her do some of the talking?
Chris: Morning Diana.
Diana: Morning, thanks for inviting me over. You have a very…unusual home.
C: I do have an interesting sense of interior decorating.
D: That you do. But seriously, thanks for inviting me over. The coffee is delicious.
C: Thanks, I pride myself on my coffee. And thanks for taking time out of your busy schedule to sit down and answer a few questions.
D: Jeez, last time someone said that to me I was sitting in a police station…
C: Hopefully this will be a little more pleasant. So, lets get this ball rolling. What would you like the world to know about you?
D: Well, my name is Diana, I am a fictional character you created to star in your (Soon to be) bestseller Paranormal Reality. I’m the single mother of an amazing teenage daughter, Beth, and I work my ass off most of the time.
C: And what an ass it is…
D: Down boy, (giggles) but thanks, you gave me this ass.
C: So, tell me a little bit about this book you’re in.
D: Um, okay. I kind of figured you should do that since you wrote the thing. Jesus, after the hell you put me through in Paranormal Reality you kind of owe me a nice, easy interview. But that’s all right, you made me a survivor and now all of that is behind me. So let’s see if I can do your book justice.
Paranormal Reality starts in my new home. I had just bought a house in a nice, quiet neighbor in suburban New Jersey, in a small town called Sayreville. It’s a new start for me and Beth, but there is a very evil ghost already living there. He latches on to my past and begins a haunting of unparalleled proportions that leaves us terrified.
My daughter decides it would be in our best interest to call up one of those ghost hunting reality shows and ask them for help. When they show up the spirit of John Mizner is in full swing and he starts to…well, let’s just say that he gets pretty nasty and horrible things happen to a lot of people.
C: Was it scary?
D: Seriously? I’m sitting in a trailer for half of the book watching people die inside my house. There is an evil entity in my home slaughtering people wholesale and you ask me if it was scary? Hell yeah, I was terrified.
C: I could imagine. There must have been some pretty gnarly stains on the rugs.
D: And the walls, and the ceiling, and the furniture, and the cabinets, and inside the walls…
C: Inside the walls?
D: I don’t want to talk about that. Seriously, it was gross. But all of that is over and life goes on.
C: I don’t really want to talk too much about your life after the book because it will give too much away. But during the book, when you were in the thick of things, how did you manage to get through it all?
D: I made a good, um, friend. Someone who helped me get through it. But the biggest help was my daughter. She brought out more strength in me than I thought I could ever have. She really is an amazing girl and I couldn’t be more proud of her.
C: At one point in the book Beth actually meets the inspiration for her character and you very nearly meet the inspiration for yours. Did you know that?
D: I did. You made mention of it to me when we were discussing dialogue half way through the book. I got a chance to meet the real Diana and sit down with her. She’s incredible.
C: Isn’t she? When I was playing around with the idea for this book I knew exactly who I wanted to model you after and I thinks everything worked out pretty damn good.
D: I think so. Most people don’t get a chance to get modeled after someone, let alone someone so amazing. I’m honored that I get to live my own life as a fictional character created in the likeness of someone so special.
C: Okay, you can stop kissing ass now.
D: Why? I’m vying for a sequel.
C: I wasn’t planning on writing one. I’m sorry, but I think we resolved the book pretty well. I have so many other projects I’m working on right now…
D: I know, I know. Just promise that when things calm down you’ll think about it. I have a feeling there are still issues out there that need to be resolved in a way that need a wild, redheaded MILF.
C: Did you just actually refer to yourself as a MILF?
D: Can you honestly say that I’m not?
C: Of course, I created you. (Laughs) I wasn't going to make some pudgy, pasty, bland looking main character. Where’s the fun in that?
D: Where indeed.
C: Is there anything else you want to say before I hit stop on my recorder and begin to hit on you mercilessly?
D: Run out and buy Paranormal Reality. Hell, buy a couple of copies. Tell your friends about it and make sure they buy their own copies. Most importantly REVIEW the book. Please please please. It means a lot to the author and even more to the characters. We like to know that you enjoyed our stories and most of us don’t get the opportunity to tell you how much it means. It keeps us alive and living on forever, and I don’t really want to fade into obscurity. So for the sake of me and my daughter Beth, buy the book, tell everyone you know, leave a review, and help us live forever. Thanks so much guys, I hope you love the book.
C: I couldn’t have said it better myself. Hehe, I kind of just did.