Interview Special: Diana from Paranormal
Reality
I
wanted to take a few minutes to sit down in my office and ask one of my all
time favorite characters a few questions. Not only is she a gorgeous redhead,
but she is an all around amazing woman. She battled one nasty bastard in my
book and…well, I guess you’ll just have to read the book to find out how she
did.
So
I invited her over to my house bright and early Sunday morning so I could ask
her some questions about what her life is like and what she thinks about the
book she starred in. I could tell you all kinds of things about her, but why
not let her do some of the talking?
Chris: Morning Diana.
Diana: Morning, thanks for inviting me
over. You have a very…unusual home.
C: I do have an interesting sense of
interior decorating.
D: That you do. But seriously, thanks
for inviting me over. The coffee is delicious.
C: Thanks, I pride myself on my coffee.
And thanks for taking time out of your busy schedule to sit down and answer a
few questions.
D: Jeez, last time someone said that to
me I was sitting in a police station…
C: Hopefully this will be a little more
pleasant. So, lets get this ball rolling. What would you like the world to know
about you?
D: Well, my name is Diana, I am a
fictional character you created to star in your (Soon to be) bestseller Paranormal Reality. I’m the single
mother of an amazing teenage daughter, Beth, and I work my ass off most of the
time.
C: And what an ass it is…
D: Down boy, (giggles) but thanks, you
gave me this ass.
C: So, tell me a little bit about this
book you’re in.
D: Um, okay. I kind of figured you
should do that since you wrote the thing. Jesus, after the hell you put me
through in Paranormal Reality you
kind of owe me a nice, easy interview. But that’s all right, you made me a
survivor and now all of that is behind me. So let’s see if I can do your book
justice.
Paranormal
Reality
starts in my new home. I had just bought a house in a nice, quiet neighbor in
suburban New Jersey, in a small town called Sayreville. It’s a new start for me
and Beth, but there is a very evil ghost already living there. He latches on to
my past and begins a haunting of unparalleled proportions that leaves us
terrified.
My daughter decides it would be in our
best interest to call up one of those ghost hunting reality shows and ask them
for help. When they show up the spirit of John Mizner is in full swing and he
starts to…well, let’s just say that he gets pretty nasty and horrible things
happen to a lot of people.
C: Was it scary?
D: Seriously? I’m sitting in a trailer
for half of the book watching people die inside my house. There is an evil
entity in my home slaughtering people wholesale and you ask me if it was scary?
Hell yeah, I was terrified.
C: I could imagine. There must have been
some pretty gnarly stains on the rugs.
D: And the walls, and the ceiling, and
the furniture, and the cabinets, and inside the walls…
C: Inside the walls?
D: I don’t want to talk about that.
Seriously, it was gross. But all of that is over and life goes on.
C: I don’t really want to talk too much
about your life after the book because it will give too much away. But during
the book, when you were in the thick of things, how did you manage to get
through it all?
C: At one point in the book Beth
actually meets the inspiration for her character and you very nearly meet the
inspiration for yours. Did you know that?
D: I did. You made mention of it to me
when we were discussing dialogue half way through the book. I got a chance to
meet the real Diana and sit down with her. She’s incredible.
C: Isn’t she? When I was playing around
with the idea for this book I knew exactly who I wanted to model you after and
I thinks everything worked out pretty damn good.
D: I think so. Most people don’t get a
chance to get modeled after someone, let alone someone so amazing. I’m honored
that I get to live my own life as a fictional character created in the likeness
of someone so special.
C: Okay, you can stop kissing ass now.
D: Why? I’m vying for a sequel.
C: I wasn’t planning on writing one. I’m
sorry, but I think we resolved the book pretty well. I have so many other
projects I’m working on right now…
D: I know, I know. Just promise that
when things calm down you’ll think about it. I have a feeling there are still
issues out there that need to be resolved in a way that need a wild, redheaded
MILF.
C: Did you just actually refer to
yourself as a MILF?
D: Can you honestly say that I’m not?
C: Of course, I created you. (Laughs) I wasn't going to make some pudgy, pasty, bland looking main character. Where’s
the fun in that?
D: Where indeed.
C: Is there anything else you want to
say before I hit stop on my recorder and begin to hit on you mercilessly?
D: Run out and buy Paranormal Reality. Hell, buy a couple of copies. Tell your friends
about it and make sure they buy their own copies. Most importantly REVIEW the
book. Please please please. It means a lot to the author and even more to the
characters. We like to know that you enjoyed our stories and most of us don’t
get the opportunity to tell you how much it means. It keeps us alive and living
on forever, and I don’t really want to fade into obscurity. So for the sake of
me and my daughter Beth, buy the book, tell everyone you know, leave a review,
and help us live forever. Thanks so much guys, I hope you love the book.
C: I couldn’t have said it better
myself. Hehe, I kind of just did.
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