What is Horror?
May 1, 2015
Honestly? I don’t know. I wish I did. Some people are afraid of snakes, some spiders, others are afraid of the boogeyman. Me? I’m not really afraid of much. Truth be told, I’m afraid of failure, but, recent events in my life have redefined what failure is.
However;
you have to ask yourself “Is horror a scary book? A Troma film? A slasher
flick? Or is horror something that lives deep inside of your ID? A horror that
you don’t understand why you have it?
I know
several people that are extremely afraid of being buried alive. So afraid in
fact that they can’t watch a movie about it or even read a story that involves
someone being buried alive. This horror is quite frightening to me yet not a
real threat to my psyche. Simply because I would be put in a position where
being in a dark, oxygen lacking position where I’d eventually suffocate in a
preferably euphoric state. Hell, I’d get to sleep.
Others are
afraid of home invasions and serial killers invading their lives. I’d like to
think I’m experienced enough with handguns and weapons where I’d be able to at
least inflict serious bodily injury on the S.O.B. before he took me and my
family out.
I thought about a lot of different types of horror and I came to one simple conclusion. Horror is unique to each individual and what they feel is a fault in their nature. A fault that stops them from acting upon the basic “Fight or Flight” nature in our lives. It’s true. I have friends who are extremely afraid of mice and rats but have no fear whatsoever of snakes. I also have friends who are totally frozen with fear of reptiles but not of rodents. Hell, I even have a person in my life who is deathly afraid of cats. Yes, cats. Those cute, cuddly and rambunctious balls of fur that seem to break the internet every time someone posts a video about them on the web.
I used to
be afraid of heights. It’s true. Then one day, in 1976, I was forced against my
will to the top of the Washington Monument. When I finally worked up enough
courage to look out the windows and observe our Nations Capitol, I was
astonished. I was flabbergasted and I became hungry for more. I wanted to see
what everything looked like from a birds eye view. After all, everything looks
different from a distance and everything looks planned and natural when viewed
from afar.
Like a prom
queen. Remember prom? Where boys and girls dressed up in finery and pretended
to be adults and then experimented with the emotions and physical awareness of
being an adult? Yeah, I thought you would.
That is
what horror is to me. It is a complete and utter lack of knowing and the
ability to act. I suppose that is why I read so much. I learn so much. I try to
understand so much. So that when I’m faced with the unknown, I am prepared.
Like a boyscout or a girlscout.
For
example, I spent six years working for a law enforcement agency and five years
working for a government law enforcement agency and I’ve always had a knack for
going through the shooting range and the obstacle course on the shooting range.
So much so that some my actions were used in training films. When asked by the
instructors where and when I learned how to do what I did, I simply answered “I
did what I had to do to survive.”
Fear is a
tangible substance. It manifests itself in different ways for different people.
Some freeze up. Some act. Some just give up and accept their fate, not truly
understanding they control their own fate. After all, we are all just here for
a short time and what we do influences and affects others in our lives. In
other words… it’s all relative.
Your fear,
what makes you freeze up and accept the unacceptable is not what defines you as
a person. It is an obstacle in your life. An obstacle that you can overcome and
not be chained to. Whether psychological or physical, you can overcome it. I
can’t tell you how to overcome it, but I can tell you that it can be overcome.
You just need the tools and equipment to overcome it.
As for why there are people drawn to horror and all its insanity… I can’t answer. I can only say that I enjoy the fantastic minds that create it. Be the stories about werewolves, vampires, zombies, unfettered power of a government or even another person who has nothing but ill intent towards another, I find grossly entertaining.
Horror to
me falls in the same file folder as religion. We each have our own and we each
believe in our own saviors and monsters. When you realize that fact then you
realize you have the power and the choice to pick your own path in belief and
life. You can act and live or you can freeze up and die. I choose to act. I
choose to live. I choose to confront my fears head on and read, watch, and
listen to what others have to say and then, when confronted with something I
have not been aware of… educate myself and find out how to survive it.
I used to
be afraid of spiders. Deadly spiders. Like the Recluse spider and a nest of
Black Widows. Then I spent a summer working as a “Heating and Air Conditioning”
installer. I quickly found out that if you don’t fuck with them, they won’t
fuck with you. Not to mention the fact that there are great bug killer sprays
on the market. I did my job. I encountered the bugs and I survived. Even though
I was in a two foot tall space, lying on my back and with no real defense
against the unknown under four tons of brick and motor, I survived.
I survived
because I taught myself how to act and what to expect. I believe that is the
root of all horror. A person not knowing what to do and when to do it. If you
look at all the films and books for the past one-hundred years it is all about
people who don’t know what to do when the shit hits the fan. Yet the books who
have survivors and are fighting the good fight are about people who have some
knowledge and some experience with the end of days working together to survive.
That is what
I’d like to think about. That maybe I am one of the survivors of whatever
apocalypse befalls the human race. That I’d be prepared, not in a crazy sort of
way but in a normal, I go to work every day and try to do what is right sort of
way. That my family, my progeny and my basic knowledge of life would help me
continue my existence.
Yet, I
can’t help but believe that there are people out there, people who have been so
damaged that they will never be able to act in the best interest of themselves
or their family. People who have so much to offer to the world but will never
be able to say it. Their voices have been stifled by negativity that they have
lost the truth of who they are.
This is my
fear. You will never know how to overcome your own fears and I have the answers
which will only fall upon deaf ears. Because your fears prevent you from
hearing my voice and the voices of reason in your life.
Have a
great week.