Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Do as I say, not as I do

As I twittered back and forth with Morticia this morning she said something that I thought was interesting. "That falls under the heading 'things I won't do to my own kids'. There is a whole chapter." That got me thinking, and it's always dangerous when I think.
So I got to thinking about my own parents and the fucked up things they did, the things they didn't do, and how I rate when compared to them.
Now I'll be the first to admit I may not be the best father in the world, but none of my kids ever stuck the leg of a Barbi doll up their nose far enough to make them shit the carpet and forget their ABC's. My kids aren't perfect, and just admitting that puts me head and shoulders above a lot of other sperm donors and cum dumpsters who claim to be parents.
And I was all set to write about how much my parents sucked and how awesome I am, but then I got into a conversation with a friend of mine, and he got me all riled up. I can't get some of the shit we talked about out of my head now, so you get to read the shit as I vomit it all over my computer. Lucky you.
I won't go into specifics and name names, not cause I'm scared but because I don't want to make a bad situation worse. So no names.
OK, here is the story; On a New Jersey Pop Warner football team there are things called E-boards. This is made of pathetic sacks of humanity who have no control over their lives, children, or eating habits. People who answer with down-turned eyes and timmid voices when their children scream at them and call them stupid. You know the type; I may be five hundred pounds but when I was a kid I was a beauty queen, and my daughter is going to be one too. She so pretty, look at how much gooder she dances than them skinny girls. She may only be four but she is already a C-cup.
These are small people with small jobs and even smaller minds. They honestly believe their possition of authority as President/vice presidnet/treasurer of a pop Warner team is an honest to god calling,  and their authority is akin to that of the Mayor or Governor.
So on this certain New Jersey Pop Wanrer football team (which all three of my kids play for) the treasurer stole $17,000 over the course of a couple years. Gasp. Someone would abuse such a possition of Authority? What about the oath thy surely took? What about the children? Won't someone please think of the children?
No, they won't. Because to these self aggrandized douche bags the kids don't matter, only their position does.
So now the powers that be (haha, powers) are clinging to control of the organization and fighting everyone off so they can keep their position. No one wants to admit the fuck up, no one is admitting knowing about the theft and no one will man up and say that the important thing here is the organization and the good it does for the kids. They would rather remain captain of a sinking ship than grab a bucket and help bail so someone else can put on the captains hat and steer it clear of the rocks.
I am leary of anyone who tries that hard to be in charge of children. Catholic priests spring to mind, (and fill it with fond memories of my childhood; Oh Father O'Malley how I miss your tickley beard stubble and thick trembling fingers) and the countless other officials who abuse kids. This is no different; it's abusing children for your own self aggrandizement.
I'm sorry, but your not a fucking head of state, your a JANITOR.
Believe me, I have nothing against janitors. My grandfather supported his family for fifty years working as a janitor, and I have done my fair share of janitorial work over the years. I have a problem with people who think they are important because they won a minority vote and know how to play the system.
I'm sorry, but I hate people who walk around like they are something special when they are just fucking VOLUNTEERS. They didn't have to apply for the position, they didn't need any special skills, they don't even need any training. So what makes them special?
Special like "I ride the short bus and lick windows" special, or maybe "when I stick enough crayons in my nose I can remember grandma" special? They are special like that.
Special like "I actually do something for the community" and "I help kids because I want to give back to the community and make the lives of kids better" - not so much.

1 comment:

  1. Ooooooo speshul like the PTA women here. I love them with the firey passion of 1000 suns. <--not really. I would like to set them on fire :D